Rubbers

Purdue University safety Torri Williams was suspended from the team indefinately by Joe Tiller for yet another run in with the law. He was already in the dog house with Tiller and the 5-0 for drunk driving, driving with a suspended license and for being at the scene when teammate Selwyn Lymon was stabbed by a 4' 11" woman. He was on probation and only had to make it until December without another incident. Well that lasted all of 5 months. He was arrested for shoplifting...from a grocery store...and it wasn't even food! Yes, just when I thought I'd heard it all, a Purdue football player (senior by the way), who is already on real probation with the real police, gets arrested for stealing CONDOMS!!! Yes, CONDOMS. I'm pretty sure that Planned Parenthood gives them away for free right? He must have wanted the super fancy ones that are flavored or colored or ribbed for her pleasure...or maybe he needed the Magnums!! Doubt it...anyone who has to steal them obviously doesn't have big enough juevos to simply buy them or stop by the 'hood! Is this not the most ridiculous thing anyone has EVER been suspended for? How embarassing...BOILER UP!
On another note, I fixed my flat tire. But as I was fixing it my truck fell off the jack and the axle landed on my hand and chopped off 3 of my fingers. I now only have a thumb and pinky on my left hand. Bye!